Everyone is sick around me. On the train, on the street, in the office. Sneezing, coughing, vomiting blood (I assume). It's horrible. And yet, here they are, at work, tapping away on their computer. Why? Why are you spraying germs all over yourself and your coworkers? Would you come to work if you knew you had the Ebola Virus? "Hey guys, don't mind me, my limbs are falling off and I am going to die in five hours, but I need to shoot off a couple of emails before my eyes sink into my skull." No. Instead, you would rob a bank, and just as you're making your getaway, someone would trip the silent alarm and you be cut down in a blaze of gunfire trying to shoot your way out of the barricade. And after the cops confirmed you were dead, they would discover that your gun was loaded with blanks, and you were planning to send the stolen money to the Ebola Virus Cure Foundation. And the cop who shot you would go home that night sad and withdrawn, contemplating his actions. But then his wife would yell at him because it took her two hours to make braised lamb and it's going to waste because he's "not hungry." The next day she would wake up and find only a note in the spot where her husband sleeps. All it would say is, "Life is too short to live with a Harpy." And now the cop's wife is feeling regret and would probably start dabbling with cocaine. SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHEN YOU COME TO WORK SICK?
