This morning I spent half of my commute wishing I had a time machine so I could go back in time to last Thursday and pour mashed potatoes and gravy all over my hair and face (again), and the other half wishing everyone would stop fucking complaining about how much they ate on Thanksgiving, and just be thankful that they had food to eat and didn't spend the day working a twenty hour shift for three pennies making shoelaces in a Pakistani sweatshop. Wah wah wah, so what, you ate a lot, stop declaring to the world your insecurities and go do pilates or whatever quietly and stop fishing for fucking compliments on Facebook.
