When I got married, the one thing I refused to allow was The Chicken Dance, or the Electric Slide, or anything where people are encouraged to follow the direction of some glorified lounge singer. And my wife agreed with me, because she is not a loser who wants to turn every event into a shitty Broadway Production executed by a bunch of drunks. Drunk dancing is funny enough, there is no need to add in a tinny voice yelling at your ninety-year-old aunt because she can't "keep up the pace."
I don’t get it. What am I missing? What is fun about this? People running around dancing like idiots and then posting these stupid videos online. Loud music! Dancing! WE ARE YOOOOOUNNNNNNG! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA.
(drives car off bridge)
This is why black people make fun of white people – for latching on to shit like The Harlem Shake, and Gangham Style, and the fucking Macarena. And by the time we are done having our way with whatever fad has taken over, it will STILL end up occurring at weddings, or bar mitzvah's, because nothing is an easier time filler than for an MC to announce it's time for the Harlem Shake and watch as sixty dummies convulse around a parquet floor for five minutes.
Flash mobs, dance mobs, viral videos with people dancing around and being hysterical should all be banned. No pants off on the subway? I call that EVERY DAY from my experiences in Manhattan. Whatever, call me a communist, but I bet Josef Stalin never had to fucking endure an acquaintance with a bad sense of humor forcing him to watch a video of some fat old lady dancing like an asshole for three minutes.
If you are still a little kid, fine, you go ahead and listen to your mom encouraging you to be creative and you make videos like this. But if you are old enough to buy Skoal or beer, do yourself a favor, go stick some fucking Wintergreen Skoal in your mouth, drink some Busch Ice, and stop making fucking unfunny videos that I will have to watch at some point because people find them hilarious even though they are as hilarious as a video of an old man having a stroke.
