I consider laziness a talent. In high school, I knew a kid who, instead of getting up and walking nine feet to the toilet, he would stand on his bed and piss out of his bedroom window. True story. And, on top of his neighbors no doubt adoring him, I was impressed that he chose to urinate in view of the public instead of using the bathroom that was right next to his bedroom. The effort it took to open the window, open the screen, and lean his pelvis out the window so he didn’t accidentally piss on his bed must have exerted more energy than getting up and walking down the hallway like a normal human being. I guess the way you relieve yourself is a matter of preference here in America. Some people piss into empty water bottles. Some people get up and piss on their lawn. I, on the other hand, use the toilet. I guess that’s because I am a fancy gentleman, but que sera sera I guess?
So what am I getting at here? Well, well, well, so sorry to take time away from you creating that cool “JimBRO’s Summer Jams 2012” playlist on Spotify. But seriously, nobody wants to listen to a bunch of shitty Silver Chair songs from 1000 years ago, so you might as well quit and listen to my point. And that point is this: living in such a great and wonderful and adorable city like New York, you run into all different kinds of people. And many of those people are lazy. Yes, per capita, New York City is probably on the low end of the laziness spectrum. I assume this because not everyone is morbidly obese, and not everyone looks like a thousand hornets stung their face. Regardless, there are still a lot of lazy people in New York City.
What kinds of lazy people? Well, that's what I’ve been getting at all along, you see...
