Whenever the zombie apocalypse finally happens due to a stash of secret chemical weapons being sabotaged in a lab by some stupid terrorist group comprised of a bunch of white guys/gals and definitely not Middle Easterners because that would be racist, I'd love to imagine that I will one of the lucky ones who survives the ensuing war. But c'mon, we all know that's bullshit. 99% of the world will perish, either by being bitten/eaten by the undead, or by blowing themselves up with homemade grenades and howitzers. And there's no doubt in my mind that I would be part of the latter group, because I would so goddamn excited and pants-shittingly-scared about everything going down that my first instinct would be to grab my stupid pry bar and baseball bat and head out into the unwinding of society looking to crack some skulls without having to worry about jail and the ensuing rape/gang-joining stuff that is customary. Then, when one of those bastards breaks into my living room, I cock back, swing, miss wildly, fall down, split my pants, and am quickly and painfully devoured sitting there like an asshole wearing a pair of ripped pants. Running a close second to this scenario is the one where I escape the city and head to some remote location only to starve to death because I forgot to pack pop tarts and water, and instead of gathering necessities, I spent most of my prep time looting gun stores and hammering nails through the head of my Louisville Slugger.
And all of this ranting is testament as to why I love 28 Days Later so so much. It just makes you think. Not in the way that The Pianist makes you think, like the whole, "Ehhh, mankind is sooooo fucked up how could people do this shit to one another..." Fuck no. The Pianist was a great movie but it also made me want to drink a bottle of Drano. 28 Days Later is thought-provoking in a more fun and exciting way, as in: "Just what in the fuck would I do if that weird guy across the street who wears girls snow boots suddenly turned into a brains-eating zombie? I'd have to bash in his head him with my police baton, no?"
And there's more to 28 Days Later than just the fantasies/nightmares it evokes. The movie is crafted perfectly for the dystopian horror genre. The first time I saw it, I was truly terrified. The zombies can run? Since when can they run? Danny Boyle is on some next-level-shit creating a zombie virus that lets these guys run. That shit is bananas. The scene in the tunnel, the one where all the zombies are running and jumping over cars and flushing out the rats, it made me sleep under my bed with a shotgun for a week. Horrifying. If that scene was taking place in real life, I would totally drop all of the lug-nuts and be helpless as my friends and family were torn to pieces.
But it was the whole movie that made 28DL so effective, because I was continually impressed with just how fucking bloody and depressing it was. Because that's what the end of the world is supposed to be like. The key word here is 'end' and the end has already happened, and it ended with a virus that turns people into insane cannibals who sprint after you and bite your face off. When I watch movies that deal with the collapse of civilization, I want zombies who barf blood and run through walls and I want to see rogue army units murdering and terrorizing civilians. I don't want the story wrapped up in a nice tight bow. Go watch How Stella Got Her Groove Back if you want a happy ending (I assume she gets her groove back?)
So why would a depressing, gory, uber-violent movie be one of my all-time favorites? Oh I don't, Mr. and Mrs. Lame Middle Americans, maybe because Danny Boyle is an awesome director, and maybe because Cillian Murphy and Brendan Gleeson are also awesome, and maybe because I like to watch movies that make me spend hours planning a zombie apocalypse escape route instead of paying my telephone bill?
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