Monday, December 19, 2011

The Paradigms, Episode 1: Miller's Crossing


I was probably ten or eleven-years-old when I first watched Miller's Crossing. I didn't know who Gabriel Byrne was and I sure as shit didn't know who Albert Finney was. And Marcia Gay Hayden? What are you talking about? Who wants to play GI Joe? Fuck yes, Iet's go play right this second while this weirdo over here talks about Martin Gay Harrison or whoever. Anyway, the point is, the cast of MC movie didn't matter to me. The movie subject alone was enough to instantaneously enthrall me for two straight hours and make me wish I could take a time machine back to 1925 and wear a 50 gallon hat and smoke fourteen thousand packs of unfiltered Lucky Strikes. Because when you're mixing together a big pot of quirky/awesome characters (ie: Byrne's down-on-his-luck drunken mob enforcer who secretly having an affair with the mob bosses lady friend), with people getting beat up and shot all over town, and drive-by's with Tommy guns, and crazy shootouts set to "Danny Boy", you might as well hand me the keys to a 1975 Mustang II and say, "Have at it, you little shit." Christ, I'm lucky my over-sized adolescent head didn't explode.

What's really weird about Miller's Crossing is, I know plenty of people who "claim" to love the Coen Brothers and yet, have never seen this movie. And to those people I say - Stop watching whatever it is you are watching now, and go watch Miller's Crossing. You will thank me later. And if you don't thank me later, then I know that you either have 1) bad taste in movies; or 2) a lack of manners. And I do not fraternize with people who hold either of these qualities. So don't be surprised when I defriend you on Facebook, you jerk. I'M TALKING ABOUT ETHICS, HERE!

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