A few weeks ago, I went on a trip. HOW EXCITING! In our absence, my wife decided she would like to have our lights put on timers to fool all of the bad guys who are trying to rob our house and steal my Playstation 3 (obvs). I asked her if she had ever heard of a little movie called "Home Alone" because, if the Wet Bandits could figure out that houses are on timers and an entire fucking neighborhood went on vacation all at once, then I assume any half-ass real-life criminal could too. She stared at me blankly and walked away. Guess she's never seen it.
